Listen:

Once there was a man who was a big blob with a head. He wore a blue three-piece suit and was very, very large. In fact, he was so large that he was at least the weight of three normal people and at least the height of two.This man, who we will call Big Blob, owned a very large business that sold papers. He didn't sell blank paper, like some people do, but he sold paper that was already typed on. You see, around the time of Big Blob, important men like himself really, really disliked writing papers to other important men. And you know what? They really, really disliked reading them as well. So, they invested in papers that were already written on, no matter what they said, because, well, they neither liked to write them nor read them. So, none of the important men wrote the papers and none of them read the papers, they just pretended like they were very important papers (also known as VIP).HOWEVER, Big Blob only sold the papers that were already written on, he didn't write them. He only recieved them and sent out his own product to other important men. Instead of writing the papers, he had many less important men write them.
One of these men was named Jake Spizzoo. Jake was an ordinary fellow who earned an ordinary wage typing up VIPs. His days blended together and were mostly the same. The only thing that stood out was the time he got to spend at home with his not-so-ordinary wife, Liza Spizzoo.
In fact, his days blended SO much together that, while typing up VIPs one day, he fell asleep at his desk! And can you imagine how Big Blob reacted? Let me show you:
"BLER BLER BLER BLER GARRRHHHH?!????" He screamed at the top of his lungs, attracting the attention of all the others in the office.
"Nuh?" Asked Jake, snapping awake.
"TAR, TAR!!! FERBARKEEEESSAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!" Big Blob raged.
"Uhn! Uhn!" Said Jake apoligetically.
"Marr..." said Big Blob. "Mar, mar, mar... arshrah!" And with that, he walked away.
Jake sighed heavily and got back to work, sad as ever. When he finally got home, he was still sad, and Liza took notice.
"Oobah.. oobah." She said soothingly.
"Nashnash kezbar snathka!" Replied Jake despairingly.
"Ahhhooo." She said kindly.
"Naahhh... parrbar." He said, sinking into bed and promptly falling asleep.
It was a restless sleep that our friend Jake had. He began to dream. No, not dream, have nightmares. But each gentle breath that came from Liza's soft lips calmed him.
The next day, Jake returned to work, rejuvinated. But the day proved to wear him down once again, and he fell asleep at his desk.
"BARRRRRRRRCCCKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!" SCREAMED BIG BLOB.
"NUH!" Said Jake, jerking awake.
"BARBARBARBAR KATRZZZ!!!!" Hollered Big Blob, pointing to the door.
"No." Said Jake defiantly.
"Uhh?" Said Big Blob, stupefied.
"No." Jake repeated.
And with that, Jake stood up and jumped onto his desk, kicking things over and making a huge mess. BASH! CRASH! SMASH! went all of the deskly things.
"ARRRRRR!" Cried Big Blob in anguish.
DRASH! LASH! FRASH! KABASH!
When Jake's outburst was finally over, Big Blob was on the floor crying.
"Murhhhh..." Pleaded Big Blob.
"NAH! Too flawer mer stayen." Demanded Jake.
"Okay." Said Big Blob.
And from then on, Jake was happy.